All i can do now, and will do now is to keep going on. I don’t knw what i’ve done to deserve these, but i know that no explainations are needed. Nothing i have to explain, nothing i have to say. A million emotions going through me everyday, but nothing comes out verbally.  Silence is my best defense.

I no longer need to know if I can survive our break up and lead a normal life again. I no longer need to know if a day can go by without something triggering a memory of the two of us. I can! A day does go by without thinking of you! It’s a pathetic milestone for sure but you can’t laugh at progress.  It’s funny how, after every relationship ends, you suffer from amnesia and wonder, “How will I get through this? How will I get over it?” But you always get over it.  You have to. You get over it just like you got over the last breakup. After a certain amount of time passes, there’s only so much you can still mourn. The memories that once crackled and popped, and gave you something to hold on to are now faded and microscopic. You would miss them if you knew what there was to miss. Your body has willed them out of you.

Do some spring cleaning with your brain and get rid of the knowledge you’ll never need again. You may not be aware of it but it’s actually weighing you down, and once you get it out you’ll feel ten pounds lighter. Promise. I may not know much but I do know that.

When everything comes to an end, whenever i bring up this topic, everyone’s only advice was ‘you’re young, you have a lot ahead of you, it’s 2 wasted years. Only 2 wasted years’. Indeed what’s 2 wasted years compared to the years ahead that i could do better. 

I came to realize it has nothing to do with the amount of effort you put in, or how pretty/sexy you are. These are not problems that are unsolvable. The biggest problem is when you know that you’re with the wrong person and yet you plunge right into it. 

Any relationship with the wrong person, no matter how happy it might seem to be, will eventually come to an end. It’s God’s way of telling us that we can do better.

i’ve done my part, put in effort, time and emotions these past two years. And i know the next time around, when i’m with someone i love, i’ll do even better, much better than what j and i had. Im glad it’s finally a closed chapter now (:

I’ve loved in a way that I never did to anyone else. When we first met, i never did expect myself to have gotten so far with you and i’m glad i did. Because right now, i can safely say that i’ve loved with everything i’ve got and tried pushing through all the obstacles along the way.

It’s sad things turned out this way in the end. A part of me wished that you did something to salvage the situation, to fight for me like how i fought for us back then. But perhaps guys and girls just work differently. It’s a cold hard truth now and I’m gonna accept it. Googled on P’s old blog entries and found myself relating to some of the emotions she felt. She got by, so will I.

Till then, thanks for the memories and goodbye my love

(Source: nothing-lasts-f0reverr)

Sigh I think my period is coming soon. There’s this sudden sadness in me. It’s like we are all growing up way too fast. Losing hold of the person we were back in our younger days. Memories of younger years still so vivid. What are we now?

Two years time Im supposed to graduate, to head out to find a job, start to support myself, give back to the family. 5 years time, I’m supposed to start a family, support my family and plan for them. All these in a short span of the next 2-6years. And now when I look back at myself, I see the same person (with the same mentality) 4/5 years ago. It scares me a lot knowing that I’m not ready for what’s to come.

(Source: soul-frosts)